I did it.
I actually survived training & I've got my own window, I can't believe it!
Now for a completely new kind of stress...not screwing up.
(no pressure)
I only helped 4 people cos it was late in the day when I actually got to set up my window but Monday I'll be in the hot seat.
Zoinks!!
(pray for me please, pray lots & pray hard)
It's pretty fun, I like talking to people & our townsfolk can be very interesting. Even more so because my coworkers have lived here a long time & we all know how small towns are...I'm learning all kinds of good stuff!
But only during lunch.
(a'hem)
~~~
So we were planning on a quick trip to visit my sister this weekend. Adah & I need haircuts & my sis lives close enough that the cost of driving there is about equivalent to paying someone else to do it. Adah especially likes having her aunt do her hair - Margaret sprinkles glitter in the kids hair when she's done & Adah LOVES it. She totally gets her princess vibe goin' & checks herself out in every mirror in the salon - she's so funny!
Anyhoo, this time we planned on all of us going so the boys could hang out with their uber-cool tween'ish boy cousins (total hero worship goin' on there) & so we could go to church with Great Grandpa K Sunday morning.
Then Eli got a sore throat.
So we amended the plan to a girls trip.
Then Eli developed a magnetic attraction to mommy's lap & mommy's sick-child instincts kicked into high gear.
So we further amended the plan to a day trip Sunday, nixing the visit with Great Grandpa because we don't want to take the chance of making him sick.
Then Eli's eye got all pink & goobery.
*sigh*
The further, further amended plan is to take Eli to the urgent care clinic first thing in the morning (to get him diagnosed with pink-eye which I've had so many times I can diagnose it myself) & then Adah & I will make our trip to get new do's & have some girl-time with auntie M and (hopefully) make it back before dinner.

I wonder what surprise we shall discover in the morning...

Girlfriends spell relief!

Ahhhhhh.


Time with the Lord & with my prayer/Bible study group felt soooooo good today! I have not been spending time with God lately & I'm feelin' it - as evidenced by my past week & yesterday's post.

(yeah, I'm a quick one I am.)

I knew this morning that even though we got up late, I needed to get my fanny to church & meet with my group. The sermon was great, as it always is, Pastor Dan is a wonderful Pastor but I could just feel God pushing me to get with the girls, share my heart with them & pray, pray, pray. I am so thankful to have this group of women. Gals I can laugh with, cry with & spill my guts to (in total confidence they will keep all my deep dark secrets) are worth more than their weight, I can tell ya.

I came home from church with a spring in my step, thanks to God & the knowledge that my gals will be uplifting me whenever God brings me to mind.

Unfortunately, my euphoria did not last long. Chris had me sit with him while he checked the grocery sales online & I was attacked with separation anxiety over my former task. As I'm sure you understand, his brain does not work the way mine does & as a result he was not doing it the 'right' way. I almost got a knot in my poor lil tummy watching the train wreck in progress...

Ok so it really wasn't that bad, he's doing fine, but there's a learning curve to finding the best deal & a lot of the household shopping savvy resides in my head, not his. I wanted to give him a list of what is typically better priced at which store but he prefers to figure it out himself. I understand because he'll understand it better that way but I did have to go into the other room for a minute so I could mutter about all my hours of work figuring this out for nothing...no drama here, nope none at all! (Where does my daughter get that trait? Hmmm...)

Things have been better with the kids today too. I expected to loose my mind during the sermon this morning - the kids are not very good at sitting through the whole thing & there's lots of whining & whispered fighting that gets significantly slightly louder as the time progresses. But I kept my cool & wasn't even very irritated with them. We played a bit when we got home & I had snuggle time with a couple of them so that was good as well.

One of my gal-pals gave me a good idea for a after school/work routine for us - reading (um doy) which is one of my favorite pastimes. Well, more accurately reading my books is one of my favorite pastimes - whenever I start reading one of their books I begin yawning within 2 pages, weather or not I actually like the book & I want to stop immediately. But I think I have discovered some books that will work well for us - I began reading Mrs. Pigglewiggle's farm to them recently & we all love it! Books like Ramona, Pippi Longstocking, Mrs. Pigglewiggle & the like I can get into. They have a story I actually enjoy & the kids are old enough now that it captures their attention too - bonus!! I'll let you know how it goes, although I want to read an installment this evening I think I'll wait until tomorrow & start the week out right.

Happy Monday y'all!!

Sometimes I really should stop & ask for directions.

I am completely overwhelmed.

Work is going well, I'm s.l.o.w.l.y getting through the training but there's a lot of pressure (possibly imagined) to get it all done & it's freaking me out a bit. I have to talk to my boss on Monday about that - I don't know what her time expectation is for me getting through all this stuff. The other gal that's in training with me (and is much younger) is a lot faster than I am & I'm concerned that TB (the boss, a bit of a type-A perfectionist) is impatient with me. But I don't know how much of that is my 40-year-old-been-a-homemaker-for-7-years-intimidated-by-a-19-year-old-mind & how much is reality.

She's really not intimidating, it's more of the stereotype of the old lady can't keep up with the fresh young blood than anything else. I actually quite enjoy working with her, she's very nice & seems quite mature for a 19 year old girl. When she talked of graduating last year I assumed college, she looks a lot older than she is but silly me, it was only HS.

I'm feeling dated despite the fact that TB is a little older than me & the assistant manager is nearing retirement age. (Dangnabbed 19 year olds!)

None of this is what's overwhelming me though. No, that would be my family.

Every day this past week I've gotten overwhelmed by my kids within about 2 minutes of getting home. I assumed that on the weekend I would feel better but so far this is not the case. And this week was not even a normal work week, we had the holiday off!

Chris has been great, he's totally taken on the housework & cooking & the house is cleaner than it would be if I had been the one home. But I'm not sure this is helping me either.

The kitchen has been my domain for years but now I'm finding things in the wrong places & my routines are no longer in place. I kinda feel like a stranger in my own home. Now, I'm the first to admit I'm a tad anal about where the dishes go & things like that. I like things where I like them, what can I say? But when I showed him how I put the bowls away, round bowls in one stack & square bowls in another (completely logical, right?) he said "well you're not putting away the dishes anymore are you."

Ouch.

I've never been a fan of doing the dishes. I've been known, at times, to put them off & end up with a nasty stinky mess in the sink & all over the counter but that was MY job in MY kitchen & I'm not sure I want to give it up! Now Chris is doing the dishes, the menu planning, the shopping & the rest of MY job & I don't like it one bit. (There I said it, harrumph!)

Then there's the kids. Now, I love my kids but those of you who are familiar with my blog know that I've been challenged by them from time to time. (yes I know, the understatement of the year, young as it is...) Everyone assumed (and by everyone I mean Chris, my mom, my sisters & my BFF) that when I got back to work, out in the real world & interacting with adults again, things would get easier for me at home. Hell, I bought into it too but so far it's not been the case! I don't like to leave them in the morning & I'm happy to see them when I get home but I can only handle so much. I like to snuggle quietly with one or two, read books to them & watch them play but if things get loud (as they are 95% of the time) or more than one tries to talk to me at a time (another 95%) I simply can't handle it & they must get away from me NOW before I blow my stack. (and when I say blow I mean Mt St Helen's style.)

I don't want to hurt the kids or make them feel like Mom doesn't like spending time with them but my kids are loud, raucous and always fighting to be the one heard first & I start to panic. All weekend I've been shooing them away from me, trying to do it nicely but a lot of the time they won't listen & I have to raise it up a notch to get movement & they get their feelings hurt.

Then Chris hears me beginning to loose it & comes to my rescue & I feel guilty, or worse, he comes to the kids rescue & I feel resentful & arguing ensues.

Could someone please tell me who I am, how I fit into this dang family & where I can find my sanity? Pretty please??

A heavy heart

I'm taking a bit of a break today as I'm mourning the loss of 2 terrific kids. Coleman won his freedom Monday evening & Dante won his Tuesday morning.
They were both courageous to the very end & touched many lives.
Please pray for their parents, Scott & Peggy, Tony & Jo - they need all they can get right now.

God bless you all!

Oh THAT mom.

Yesterday I had the torture pleasure of grocery shopping with my 3 little snarling, sniveling darlings. It was such a hellish great trip, replenishing my pantry while displaying my obvious lack of control parenting prowess.
Oh we dragged, pushed, pulled traipsed round the store, blindly grabbing merrily & efficiently gathering the items on my list, my obnoxious precious little ones sitting in the previous isle throwing a fit following obediently behind me like a line of ducklings.
I tell you I was the nightmare come true example of what every mother fears knows her kids will be like with her pathetic superior mothering abilities.
Oh yes, yesterday I truly was THAT mom.

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a wonderful feeling, everything's going my...oh wait, I forgot this is my life!

So far this morning...

Got up late. (no shower)
Dog saw cat while taking his morning pee & ran off. (maybe he'll get cold & come back)
Welcomed an extra kid. (babysitting all day)
Played pioneer. (chopped wood for fire)
Took a call from the city. (about dog, what a surprise)
Bundled kids for a trek to the garage. (to find dog)
Dug out drift in front of garage. (about 2 ft deep)
Wrestled van onto driveway. (took a few tries)
Found dog. (who did NOT want to get in the van)
Took 5 tries to get up driveway. (and actually made it into garage)
Un-bundled kids. (me first, I have ice in my boot, mom help)
Fixed 2 boo-boos. (band aids go fast in this house)
Rescued extra kid from my kids. (she's 3 & they play very rough)
Discovered daughter cutting up my brush. (took the bristles right off)
Scolded boys for riding old crib mattress down stairs. (miraculously nobody was hurt)

And all this before 9:30!

~~~~

Interesting Sam pronunciation:

Sam "hey mom, a question mark means a question & a es-qu-ash-kon (exclamation) mark means a question too!"
Mom "gotta work on that buddy."

I had to have him repeat that a bunch of times before I could figure out how to spell it. And I'm so not correcting him...it's just too cute for that!

~~~~

I have recently learned to be grateful that Chris is working in Ellensburg. At first I was very resentful & angry. I mean, we just moved away from there to be closer to work & now he's working right back where we came from! But the general contractor at this particular job is tarping & heating the job which means they can work all winter, even in extreme temperatures. Chris found out last week that they are the only crew working right now. All the other jobs are shut down due to nasty weather. So once again, God knows what He's doing & I haven't a clue.
Go figure :)

~~~~

Yesterday I finally finished decorating the house for Christmas. Now I just have to finish the gifts I'm making & wrap everything. Every year I plan on getting it all done early & every year I go right down to the wire. Nothing like a little added stress to spice up my everyday life.
We are getting up early on Christmas morning to open our gifts & have breakfast together. Then we will make the trek to my sister's house in Richland & spend 2 days with the rest of my family. Should be a blast & a little deja-vu, to see all our kids playing together, just like we did with our cousins when we were kids. You see, my sister bought my Grandparents old house & we spent many-a Christmas playing in the basement. Now it's come full circle & we're the boring adults talking upstairs.

~~~~

I introduced my kids to the movie Rudolph yesterday & naturally they loved it. It was so much fun to see them enjoying what I've loved for so long. Today I'm going to see if I can find A Charlie Brown Christmas online for them. I just love sharing all the old traditions with them & knowing they will pass them on to their kids someday. The best part though is sharing the real reason for the season, our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. We've always told them a bible story every night before bed but at this time of year we linger on the story of His birth. I want them to understand from an early age that Christmas has nothing to do with santa & getting lots of stuff. It's about celebrating the King of Kings & what He came here to do for us.
So we talk a lot about how santa is a character & it's fun to pretend he's real but he's not really real. And when you see santa at the store or he comes to your school party he's just a man dressed up in a costume like at Halloween. But I also make sure to tell them not to ruin it for other kids who might think santa is real.

~~~~

We took our annual trek to see the Christmas lights Saturday night. As usual we got started too late & didn't get to finish our list. But we did see some beautiful houses in parts of Spokane we hadn't been to before & it was magical for the kids. We can't afford to put up much by the way of lights so it's fun to check out the families who can keep the power companies happy.

~~~~

Random recipe:
I made some yummy waffles for breakfast the other day. I use the recipe from the better homes and gardens cookbook (aka red & white book) but I use half whole wheat flour & I add a scoop or 2 of wheat germ so I can pretend it's good for us. I also make my own syrup which tastes so much better than that crap from the store...well, unless you buy the real thing which of course, is fabulously yummy. To make syrup you just boil 2 parts sugar & 1 part water with a little vanilla & maple flavoring until it's slightly thickened (emphasis on the slightly, if you boil it too long you'll end up with sugar-crystal'y syrup.) What made these waffles so great was that his time I didn't know I had run out of maple flavoring. I improvised & threw a couple of cinnamon sticks in & it turned out so good I don't know if I'll make it any other way.

~~~~

Hey I blogged today, can you believe it?
Have a wonderful day & enjoy your snow if you have it :)

Wha???

What happened to blogrolling? I was trying to read some blogs but my blogrolls are gone & their site won't pull up - boohoo.
Figures, I have time to read blogs for the first time in over a month but I can't get to any of them. Girrrrr!

~~

So what's new in the Michels household?
Notsomuch really.
Chris is back to work after more than a week off. We are anxiously awaiting next week when we'll have a normal paycheck again...as are our creditors & utilities (a'hem) =)
The kids are still loving school. Sam is doing very well, much better than last year. I won't ever regret keeping him in kindergarten, so far he's really blossomed.
The twins adore everything about their class & teacher. She can do no wrong in their eyes (unlike dumb'ole mom ya know) & have fitted right in. Even Eli, my rambunctious terror has been following the rules. Well until yesterday, that is. Seems he tackled a kid & bonked his head on the floor. He got a time out for that but truly I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier...like on the first day! But they made up & all is well. Good thing he's so dang cute!
I'm trying to adjust to the new season. Seems like 2 weeks ago we were in the 90's & now it hardly gets over 65. We keep the house pretty cold to try & save money so I'm in long johns, sweats, t shirt, mock neck, sweatshirt & 2 pairs of socks. I do ok in the morning when the heater is on frequently but in the afternoons I do nothing but shiver. I try to remember my summertime mantra; I'd rather be too cold than too hot, it's easier to warm up than cool down. But it's hard to remember that when your thermostat is set at 63! Really though I do love fall. All the leaves, the crisp air on sunny days & wintertime just around the corner. Much welcomed after the sweltering heat of summer.

~~

It feels good to be writing again. I've missed it (and you!) as an outlet - cheap therapy is always welcomed around here.
I hope to be visiting you all soon, if blogrolling & time will allow it =)

Don't forget about the kids!

Stairs & bedding & closets & rods & kids...oh my!

My kids are way to creative.

Sam: "Mom, we slid on the covers!"
Mom: "Uh, where did you slide?"
S: "On the covers."
M: "Yes, you told me that but what did you slide down?"
S: "With Adah & Eli."
M: "Ok Sam I get that but where in the house did you slide?"
S: "Down the stairs."
M: "So that's why Eli is crying."
S: "Yeah, I bonked his head." (laughs)

I then make them (while listening to the whining apparently required of the task) take the comforter back upstairs & put it on the bed where it belongs. And explain why it's not such a good idea to slide together down the stairs on the (expensive) comforter (that grama bought) but that it is ok to 'bump' down the stairs one at a time.

I'm such a killjoy.

~~~

While I was finishing up the above I began to hear screaming & crying from upstairs.
Oh goody.

Mom: "What is going on up here?"
Kids: "We were swinging in the closet & it fell & bonked."
M: "Swinging in the closet & it fell? How exactly were you swinging in the closet?" (already knowing the answer but needing to hear if from the culprits mouths.)
K: "The stick in the closet."
M: "The stick eh?"
K: "Yeah, the big heavy stick."
M: Not such a good idea then, was it?

I should explain that the 'stick' they were referring to is actually a huge metal rod. While they were swinging from the 'stick' the thingy attached to the wall that holds it up there got worked around until it turned upside down & the 'stick fell right out.
Whoops!
No serious injuries thankfully. Just a few Small bonks & bruises.
Kinda poetic justice if you ask me :)

~~~

Did I mention that one of the shower doors fell off from a broken screw this morning...before I took my shower?

Can I go back to bed now?

Much ado about...

K, planned on posting my recipe today but time got away from me. I'll post 2 next week to make up for it.

Today was a busy day - much more than usual. I should state for the record my goal in life is to NOT be busy. Granted, I have 3 kids & the older they get the busier I'm going to be but I can still dream right?
So morning was normal, kids wake me up & beg for breakfast for 20 minutes while I'm a good example lesson on what not to do by laying in bed until the last minute possible.
(I'm so proud!)
Took Sam to summer school, came home, set the twins up with a movie & jumped in the shower.
Started cleaning up the kitchen (holy cow, I think every dish was in the sink or counter) & picking up the house. I felt like poo-poo yesterday so I laid on the couch as much as possible. I think I only got up to attend children (fix food, & change movies) & use the bathroom. The house was a mess!
Go pick up Sam from summer school.
Get call from BFF asking if I'm going to reading program. Ummm, I should but I don't wanna. Oh phooey, I'll go already. There's only 1 week after this & we've only gone 3 times.
Make lunch, eat lunch, go to library.
Endure chaos that is summer reading program (I might just blog on this another day - it's, to put it nicely, not planned well.)
BFF asks if I want to do dinner together - yupper-do! Her hubby works swing shift & it's Chris's night at my sisters so perfect timing.
Go to extremely overpriced small town grocery store to get more dinner fixins.
BFF arrives with kids, we shoo all but the baby out to play in the sprinkler.
Kids play, we talk. Kids fight, we yell. Kids play, we talk...ok you get the idea.
We eat, the kids run around the house chasing each other & yelling, we shoo them upstairs so we can hear each other talk.
Kids fight.
"Ok movie time kids, everyone on the couch!"
We talk until movie is over & it's 30 minutes past bedtime.
They go, but we wish for a sitter.

Wow, that ended up a lot longer than I thought and all to tell you I didn't have time to post my recipe. Don't you feel informed now? Yeah, I wouldn't either :)

Whew!

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I spent approximately 1 hour, 45 minutes grocery shopping with my kids today. I'm sure that's all I'm required to say but I will elaborate (as I'm apt to do) just so you can get the full effect.

We had a marathon trip today, all in the pursuit of saving a buck.

Of course I negated that savings by forgetting my list (and I need my list) and having to drive the 25 miles home & turn right around & drive 25 miles back to Cheney. I just love running in circles, don't you?

So we are finally back in town & I stopped by the first 2 stores to pick up the sale fliers. These stores are relatively small & don't do mailers (which annoys me to no end) so to find the best deals I have to do it this way.

Then we were off & running in Safeway (much to the delight of the kids, who were very sick of their carseats by this time. "Why do we hafta go back mom? "Mom I wanna get out of my seat." "Mom, she's touching me again.")

I have a new rule for grocery shopping which, depending on one's point of view, makes me look like a drill sergeant (minus the swearing) or an overbearing evil mom. (I know this from the looks I got from other moms, the ones with 1 child under walking age were the funniest ones. They just looked scared they'd have to do this someday too - HA!)

Before I started this new thing, my shopping consisted of my kids all doing things they are not supposed to, different things that is, all at the same time. Sam would be wandering on ahead, eventually turning the corner & on his way down the next isle. Adah would be standing on the side of the cart, the front of the cart, 'helping' me push (aka getting in the way & tripping me), or standing in front of the cart impeding my progress. Eli would be dawdling behind, inspecting things on the shelves (preferably in glass jars) & freaking out when I got too far ahead.

Meanwhile I'd be attempting to yell at all of them at once. "Sam come...Adah knock it...Eli put that...Sam I said..." while simultaneously shopping for the best deals. (Mom's head explodes.)

Sound like fun? Yeah, notsomuch.

So now I make them line up behind me & stay there the whole time. This consists of me repeating my orders approximately 1364 times during each hour spent in the store.

Have I mentioned that my throat hurts? (Chocolate ice cream goes a long way in soothing a sore throat. Just in case you are wondering, that is.)

Ok (I know, I know, on with the story already) so to give you a glimpse of my shopping nightmare fun I'll tell you what you would see if you were a fellow shopper doomed to lucky enough to be in the same store as my lovely family.

A mom, looking very grim with 3 kids straggling behind her. This mom occasionally asks in a very gruff tone, "Adah, why are you walking next to me? "Where are you supposed to be walking?" after which Adah would reply "behind you mom." and fall back with her brothers. At other times you might hear, "Sam let go of my shirt." "Sam let go." "NOW SAM!" or, "Eli, stop pushing Sam." "Eli stop touching the pickles." "Eli do not touch anything other than your own body!"

Now repeat this scenario for the next hour & forty five minutes (spanning 3 stores) and you've got the picture. Kind of reminds me of the back of the shampoo bottle I bought today - lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, rep...

*sigh*

By the third store I was beginning to think about alcohol despite the fact I usually drink only once a year on my birthday. (Mexican restaurant+strawberry margarita+birthday=one happy me!)

Hey, maybe some rich TV producer could come up with a reality show that involves grocery shopping with crazy kids & frazzled moms. I'd clean up with that...unless I was competing with BECAUSE I SAID SO that is.

Now I'm home, the kids are in bed & I'm happily blogging while eating a pile of ice cream soothing my throat.

So...how was your day?

More 'news' & the weekend

Read about a new baggy pants law in Chicago here.
And a drunken practical joke gone up in flames here.
And a couple of dumb crooks getting rudely awakened here.

The Chicago law needs to go nationwide. Although not as prevalent as it used to be, I hate that style. To all those young men out there who wear their pants around their ankles...I get a very strong desire to pants you when I see you. Of course, my style back in HS was to wear holey jeans...extremely holey jeans! My mom was always trying to throw them out & I was always saving them. I had one pair that had no butt anymore, just the seam. I wore boxer shorts under them & they were my favorite jeans (& probably the favorite of all the guys, I had a pretty hot bod back in the day.) I can't believe my mom let me out of the house!

~~

This weekend was a roller coaster ride full of fighting and fun. Chris & I started arguing almost the minute he got home. Stupid arguments all of them, but passionately stated by both parties. I swear, sometimes I get the picture of a couple of rams fighting when we do this. Just run full tilt & slam into each other, over & over again. We are both so stubborn & very good at miscommunicating. Often we agree on the end result of something but argue about the process. Or if I say something & he takes it the wrong way or vice versa, which happens all the time with us. We can go many rounds with that one. I think he needs to pay more attention to what I said & understand me better & he thinks I need to say it better & think of his reaction more, bla bla bla to infinity.
I lost my mind & totally freaked out as I've done before. Having him gone all week is just very hard on me & I can't do it for long. This was only for 2 weeks but that's all it took. I just feel like everybody wants a piece of me until there is nothing left. All week it's the kids, on the weekend it's Chris & I don't get any time for myself.
I tend to do things a little different while he's gone, just to get through the week & that is hard on him. Having ADD, he needs routine & when I change things he feels left out & gets frustrated. Plus he looks like the bad guy when he gets things back to normal. My changes usually involve letting the kids do stuff they don't normally get to or whatever.
So that was Friday.
On Saturday we argued a bit more in the morning & then went to see The Dark Night This was a big thing, neither of us can remember the last time we got to see a movie in the theatre. And holy cow is it spendy!! The movie was awesome, just as we expected. I was more in the mood for Wall-e after all the hubbub from Friday but we were late for it & The Dark Night worked out better. Heath Ledger's joker was amazing. So creepily funny, the perfect psychopath. I'm just glad I'm not afraid of clowns or anything, that would put you over the edge for sure! For those who have seen it (there are no spoilers here for those who haven't) my favorite moment with the Joker was when he walked out of the hospital & had to click the remote...too funny & that outfit was hilarious! My favorite part of the whole movie was the convict on the boat, that was simply awesome - you know what I'm talking about.
It was a bit sad to watch though, knowing about Heath's death. I can see why he was taking anti anxiety & sleeping medications, becoming that character would be hard to take emotionally. I wonder what his daughter will think of it when she gets older. Will she be proud of his amazing performance or might she resent the film for being part of the reason he died? Only time will tell but obviously I hope it's the former.
After we got home we played with the kids & argued, ate dinner and argued some more.
Sunday we went to church (argued beforehand,) came home & cleaned the house. Chris made up a plan for cleaning that involved all of us & it worked great. I cleaned off the surfaces & dusted, Sam picked up toys, Adah picked up papers & trash, Eli put books away & Chris supervised & did the floors. We went room by room & got most of the house cleaned. I think we are going to make this a regular weekend event. We actually had fun...imagine that!
So overall the weekend was not horrible & not fabulous, just good & bad in it's own special way.
My plan this week is to work on my huge backlog of laundry & start to plan my packing list for next weekend. We have a family reunion coming that I've been looking forward to for a year. More on that in another post though.

4 year olds write the best lyrics

I was doing important research on the computer reading blogs the other day & I overheard this from the other room:

"And it goes like this:"
"bottom, bottom, bottom."
"I have a poop coming out of my bottom."
"A really cute bottom."
"I have a bottom sticking on my bottom."

(I was hoping for more but evidently the muse left him.)

Of course, he was sitting at the table while singing this lovely tune. I'm just glad we finished dinner a few minutes before his inspiration struck.

You never know what's going to come out of that kid's mouth.

The great bathroom adventure

I gave you a hint of this story a couple weeks ago when I blogged about my fabulous day. Be warned though, it's not a pretty story. Well, I guess you could say it's pretty, as in pretty dang smelly - but however you put it, it's not for the faint of heart. Might be effective birth control though!

I was out on a grocery trip at one of my favorite retailers, Fred Meyer. I love Freddy's cos they have playland, where I can deposit 2 of my kids to play while I spend quality time argue with Sam & shop for groceries.

We hadn't gotten the best start on the day but after having lunch things were looking up. Until, that was, I got the dreaded page over the intercom system to 'come to playland.'

I figured it was just cos' I was late picking them up (never happens - HA!) but when I arrived I noticed Adah walking a little um, funny.

The attendant told me she had said she needed to go potty but that she could wait. *alarm bells ringing in my head*

So I hurry them into the bathroom only Adah is trying hard not to hurry & is walking even funnier.

Yup, you guessed it, by the time we got into the stall she had poop dripping down her leg.

Now, I've been past the diaper bag stage for some time, so there I am without wipes & extra clothes, with Adah dripping onto her feet.

So I begin the dash back & forth between the towel dispenser, sink & stall - round & round we go, when I can stop nobody knows.

Meanwhile, the boys have the run of the bathroom. Danger, Will Robinson, danger! I hear them greeting & saying goodbye to several ladies. I witness the greeting to one woman, who seems less than thrilled to see 2 boys in the woman's room. A minute or 2 later, I hear her talking to them, & saying something about them being rude. "What are they doing?" I ask. "Looking through the crack." she grimly replies.

Wonderful boys, just flipping wonderful! As if I'm not having enough fun already, I have to deal with my peeping-tom's-in-training now. Why did they have to choose her to spy on? Couldn't they have picked someone with a sense of humor? Oh no, not my boys.

I profusely apologise to the woman, and make the boys do so as well. Then I give them a big lecture of why that is wrong & make them stand against the wall for awhile. But that only lasts until I venture back into the stall with Adah. (I later found out Eli was in the hall for awhile, yikes!)

Adah is not happy to be cleaned off with cold, rough paper towels & lets me know in no uncertain terms. It takes at least 4 trips back for more towels to get her clean, the stuff is everywhere! I ended up just tossing the undies but had to wash out her shorts as best I could & make her wear them. Yeah, she was not big on that idea but we don't have money to buy shorts on a whim & I wasn't letting her walk around naked! (Although she would have liked that I'm sure.)

We finally got out of the bathroom, completed the shopping & got everyone in the car. (I almost forgot my favorite comment of the day. While in line at the checkout Sam said, "moooom, Adah still stinks!" at top volume. Thanks for telling everyone Sam...girrrr) Our little detour took so long we had to rely on gross good ole Mickey D's for dinner. I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open & desperately needed some caffeine for the drive home.

I managed to get us home, groceries in the house, Adah bathed & kids to bed without loosing my cool. After all was quiet I collapsed into bed with my laptop, a movie & lots of junk food to salve my injured soul.

And of course, through it all I kept thinking, "This is going to make one heck of a blog post!"

If I were Catholic I'd say like 900 hail Mary's.

Bless me bloggers for I have sinned. It's been one entire week since my last blog entry.
Yes I totally know that's lame, lame, LAME!
Forgive me?

K. This week it was determined by the hubby's boss that they will start work an hour earlier to 'beat the heat.' Let us remember this particular job is 2 hours away from home & hubby already gets up at 3:30 to make it there on time. Getting up at 2:30 is not going to work for him so now I'm back to where I began, a pseudo-single mom with a weekender hubby. I'm headed for a white shirt with some reeeeeealy long sleeves if this goes on very long...last time this happened I was very close to a nervous breakdown. NOT a good thing y'all.
Hubby says the job will be over soon so I'm praying the next job is a scosh closer to home. Care to join me? Please??

On a lighter note...

We have a new family member & not of the mechanical variety this time (phew!)
He is the cutest thing ever & I'm completely in love with this lil bit o fluff-n-bones.

I present to you smudge,


















the cutest puddy-tat on 4 paws in my extremely humble (a'hem) opinion.

The only problem is that smudge is driving this guy


















and these guys


















crazy with the desire to chase, control & squish play hold & cuddle 24/7. Smudge has other ideas...he'd rather explore & attack innocent pieces of paper & clothing he finds on his (very few) unmolested jaunts around the house. The result of this is that I'm hearing an unprecedented amount of whining/crying from them and honestly, I can't decide who is worse, the kids or the dog!
So the excuse for my bloggy deficiencies is that my household companions have required more policing of late & thus, more time. Well, that and my addiction to watching season 9 of Big Brother online. But I only allow myself to watch 10 2 episodes a day. Yeah.

A fabulous day in 12 easy steps

1. Stay up really really late the night before.
2. Let kids watch movies non-stop all morning.
3. Decide to take kids out for lunch an hour after you normally eat.
4. Make sure kids delay leaving for at least an hour - clothes, shoes, potty...
5. Have a relaxing lunch with your crazy, insane, manic, whiny wonderful children.
6. Spend 45 minutes in a tiny restaurant bathroom with 3 kids, 2 of whom have to poop.
7. Go grocery shopping.
8. Find that your daughter has created something wonderful when you get paged by pick up your kids from the grocery childcare center.
9. Experience another lovely trip to the bathroom with your children.
10. Make your way home with your crazy, insane, manic, whiny wonderful children.
11. Spend at least an hour coaxing, pleading, yelling bonding with your kids while getting them ready for bed.
And last but not least...
12. Be sure to spill a giant container of watermelon on the floor before you head to bed.

to be continued...

A mamma's pride

Today in a nutshell.

Mid morning:
Adah pooped in her underwear (on purpose) again. This is a child that will turn 5 at the end of the summer. She gets badly constipated & the doctor put her on Mirilax for 6 months. The first goal is to get her cleaned out. (Isn't that a nice thought?) The second is to allow her muscles to return to normal function. So I'm expecting some gross undies for awhile but this girl would walk around all day in poop filled undies if you let her. I am completely serious about this...a few times she's done her deed while playing outside & we don't smell her until later in the day & the undies are crusted onto her lil butt. That can't feel good can it? I just don't get this girl!!!

Just before lunch:
The kids are all outside playing. Adah comes in yelling something at me about boys & the mail so I go look out the slider door & they are over by the road. I say calmly yell at them "Get back here, don't you go to that mailbox!" Sam says "well, there isn't any mom." Isn't any what? "Are you telling me there isn't any mail?" After further investigation it becomes clear to me that my boys, ages 6 & almost 5, walked past the neighbors house to the busy road where our mailbox stands. Fantastic! They got a nice big lecture and a time out in which they were to think on said lecture. Most likely they thought about the dead bugs on the windowsill instead but hey, I tried.

Right before nap time:
As I'm talking to Adah, Eli comes up to me with a wet hand & says "Mom, Sam peed on my hand." "What??? Did you wash it?" Sam interjects "I didn't pee on his hand, I peed on his shirt!" Like that's better or something. "Sam were you peeing outside again?" "NO! I peed in the toilet mom, not outside." "So you peed on Eli in the bathroom?" "Yes, in the bathroom." "Eli, why where you so close to Sam in the bathroom that he could pee on you?" (It would be hard to do that in our bathroom, the toilet is in a corner with walls on either side.) *sigh* "Ok, Eli, do not go in the bathroom while someone is using it and Sam, don't pee on anyone please." BOYS!!

I started writing this during nap time & gave Sam a small writing assignment to keep him busy. I've now had approximately 536 arguments with him about it as apparently I do everything wrong. "No mom, that's not how Mrs. A does it, it's wrong mom!" I learned that when he says 'mom' I'm to say 'what' nicely. I'm also rude, mean & I don't love him. I sound like an absolute ogre - who knew?

The imagination of kids or planes, trains & automobiles

As I was saying goodnight to Sam a train went by, prompting this conversation:
Sam "Mom look at that train."
Mom "Yup, they go by all day long don't they."
S "I rode on that train."
M "You did huh?"
S "Yeah, I rode on it when I was 100 years old."
M "When you were 100 years old! When were you 100 years old?"
S " When I was 164, 2, 68!"
M "Wow!"

Then I moved on to Eli, after dragging him from the window (watching the train) & wrestling him into the bottom bunk.
E "Mom I don't wanna sleep in my bed, it scares me. I wanna sleep with Sam!"
M "No Eli, you need to learn to be brave & face your fears. Mommy & daddy are right downstairs, Sam is above you in his bed, Adah is in the next room and Jesus is always with you."
E "Mom, you have to bring your bed up here."
M "There's nowhere to put it Eli."
E "Yes it will, you can put it in the toy room."
M "No, it won't fit in the toy room."
E "Put it on the stairs mom."
M "That would be silly wouldn't it!"
E "You can put it in the road."
M "What?"
E "You can put it in the road & it will rain. That will be silly!"
M "That would be very silly."
E "And then a car will come & break that bed and then it will squash your head & jump right in this house."
M "I think you are very silly Eli."

Next was Adah's turn.
A "Mom where's grama?"
M "On the airplane going to France."
A "A big airplane."
M "Yes, very big and & they will be on it for a long time. They will eat on the airplane, and maybe read a book and even sleep right there in their seats."
A "Grama's on the big airplane going to her vacation."
M "Just like grampa & grama told you."
A "Grama will have cheeseburgers for dinner."
M "I don't know what they will have but maybe a cheeseburger."
A "A cheeseburger and macaroni and cheese."
M "Wow, that would make for an interesting dinner."
A "Can we have macaroni and cheese mom?"
M "Nope, it's time for sleeping.

Then came my favorite part, the part in which I head down the stairs, anticipating the quiet peacefulness of a house with sleeping kids. But then the chorus began:

"Goodnight mom!"
"Goodnight mom!"
"Goodnight mom!"
"Goodnight mom!"
"Goodnight mom!!!!!"

Which they will continue until I respond with: "I can't hear you anymore!!"

Ahhh, peace.

Happy kids = happy mom!

My kids declared I'm the coolest mom ever and frankly I agree. (Like I'd deny that!)
I made them grahm cracker ice cream sandwiches for snack time.
Yummmmmers baby!
I would recommend thinking ahead & giving the sandwiches some time in the freezer. Graham cracker ice cream sandwiches are much easier consumed when the crackers are a tad soft - ours just squished the ice cream out the sides. But hey, I served ice cream for a snack today & that's what really matters!

The day after or, plant on momma, plant on.

Hi y'all, didja have a good momma's day?
Me too!

On Friday Sam brought me home a laminated picture of a teacup with a heart & a tea bag stapled to it (thanks to Mrs. L.) On the back it says 'Mom I love you Sam' in his funny lil K-kid printing. I put it up on the wall by my desk instead of the opposite wall where we usually put his masterpieces, and he had this to say about it:

"Mom, I want it over there!"
"Honey, I want it where I can see it, I love my mothers day drawing from you."
"Mom! It's mine, I made it!!"

Hmmmm, don't think he's got the gift concept yet. Oh well, I'm not moving it, it's mine I tell you, MINE!

My darling Chris knew the day was coming but did not pay attention to when it actually was so I got kicked urged strongly out of bed to make everyone breakfast. And I got nothing from the twinnies, who had no idea what the day was.

As soon as Chris figured out what day it was he apologised profusely and had the kids say happy mothers day and give me some X's and O's. Love my little mommy makers :)

After I slapped forgave my hubby, I skipped out to do a solitary grocery trip and enjoyed myself immensely.

Fred Meyer was packed, which normally gives me a headache, but I was determined to have fun. I found a buy 2 get 1 free sale on potted herbs so I got 9 of them. (2 basil, 2 oregano, 2 rosemary, 2 thyme & 1 sage.) I like to dry them myself for use throughout the winter, a good way to save some $$. I gave myself a Cadberry milk chocolate bar, (yum) got a iced coffee and perused the flowers. Got myself some wannabe-Crocks for 40% off - they don't do my feet any favors (I have messed up ankles) but are awesome for gardening - the dirt that gets in them just falls out of the holes so you can walk around in your freshly tilled garden without a care.

I then had to get to my 'real' shopping...groceries. They were having an awesome sale, Foster Farms whole chickens buy 1 get 1 free, store brand food containers 2 for $4, hand-held garden tools buy 2 get 1 free...and many many more. I spent way more than I usually would but stocked up on some great buys. It truly was a nice escape from the usual shopping with kids. I am surprised that I didn't go nuts with all the people there. Note to self: Mothers day weekend is not a good time to shop.

We all hung out together after I hied my fanny home - all in all, a great day was had on mommas day 08.

Now I gotta get that same fanny out to plant my yummy herbs. Well, after I eat my favorite lunch of p'sketti noodles with garlic salt & a heap-0-Parmesan cheese. That and plan an extravagant daddys day to make Chris feel really guilty celebrate Chris.

Happy day after momma's day y'all!