Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The great bathroom adventure

I gave you a hint of this story a couple weeks ago when I blogged about my fabulous day. Be warned though, it's not a pretty story. Well, I guess you could say it's pretty, as in pretty dang smelly - but however you put it, it's not for the faint of heart. Might be effective birth control though!

I was out on a grocery trip at one of my favorite retailers, Fred Meyer. I love Freddy's cos they have playland, where I can deposit 2 of my kids to play while I spend quality time argue with Sam & shop for groceries.

We hadn't gotten the best start on the day but after having lunch things were looking up. Until, that was, I got the dreaded page over the intercom system to 'come to playland.'

I figured it was just cos' I was late picking them up (never happens - HA!) but when I arrived I noticed Adah walking a little um, funny.

The attendant told me she had said she needed to go potty but that she could wait. *alarm bells ringing in my head*

So I hurry them into the bathroom only Adah is trying hard not to hurry & is walking even funnier.

Yup, you guessed it, by the time we got into the stall she had poop dripping down her leg.

Now, I've been past the diaper bag stage for some time, so there I am without wipes & extra clothes, with Adah dripping onto her feet.

So I begin the dash back & forth between the towel dispenser, sink & stall - round & round we go, when I can stop nobody knows.

Meanwhile, the boys have the run of the bathroom. Danger, Will Robinson, danger! I hear them greeting & saying goodbye to several ladies. I witness the greeting to one woman, who seems less than thrilled to see 2 boys in the woman's room. A minute or 2 later, I hear her talking to them, & saying something about them being rude. "What are they doing?" I ask. "Looking through the crack." she grimly replies.

Wonderful boys, just flipping wonderful! As if I'm not having enough fun already, I have to deal with my peeping-tom's-in-training now. Why did they have to choose her to spy on? Couldn't they have picked someone with a sense of humor? Oh no, not my boys.

I profusely apologise to the woman, and make the boys do so as well. Then I give them a big lecture of why that is wrong & make them stand against the wall for awhile. But that only lasts until I venture back into the stall with Adah. (I later found out Eli was in the hall for awhile, yikes!)

Adah is not happy to be cleaned off with cold, rough paper towels & lets me know in no uncertain terms. It takes at least 4 trips back for more towels to get her clean, the stuff is everywhere! I ended up just tossing the undies but had to wash out her shorts as best I could & make her wear them. Yeah, she was not big on that idea but we don't have money to buy shorts on a whim & I wasn't letting her walk around naked! (Although she would have liked that I'm sure.)

We finally got out of the bathroom, completed the shopping & got everyone in the car. (I almost forgot my favorite comment of the day. While in line at the checkout Sam said, "mooo
om, Adah still stinks!" at top volume. Thanks for telling everyone Sam...girrrr) Our little detour took so long we had to rely on gross good ole Mickey D's for dinner. I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open & desperately needed some caffeine for the drive home.

I managed to get us home, groceries in the house, Adah bathed & kids to bed without loosing my cool. After all was quiet I collapsed into bed with my laptop, a movie & lots of junk food to salve my injured soul.

And of course, through it all I kept thinking, "This is going to make one heck of a blog post!"


Mylhibug said...

If the kids only knew that we used them so. :)

Of course, some of my kids already know. For instance our little 'poop caper' the kids all said "Dad, you have to blog that!"

I don't think I did it justice, but...ewww!

God Bless you and all moms everywhere!

Mari said...

You poor thing - what a day. I can tell that you haven't lost your sanity though, because you still had the presence of mind to think about a blog post!

Rebekah said...

Ugh! What a day. I hate those poopy moments

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