Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Lying and stuff

I'm frustrated.

You know that cute little guy Sam? The one I featured in my birth story? Yup, that's the one. Well he's been lying a lot lately. Any time he gets caught or questioned about something he lies right to my face.

This drives me absolutely nuts!

When he comes home from school all the kids have a snack. I usually have something yummy I've made for them, fruit bars, soft pretzels, bran muffins - or just some rasins & crackers or whatever. They all eat the snack & watch a video & then fight play together. Well, of late Sam has done this disappearing act after he finishes his snack. I usually find him sneaking more of the snack, some leftover biscuits or whatever from off the counter or candy from out of my purse. He hides behind the laundry basket or next to the couch, & gives me the innocent look while putting his hands behind his back.

In our house we require the kids to ask if they want something to eat. Yes I'll admit I'm kinda stingy & usually say no. They are served good meals (which half the time he chooses not to eat - very picky kid) & snacks & we are usually broke so we can't afford extra snacking all the time.

I get so angry! He gets disciplined every time but nothing seems to work. This is really why it drives me so nuts. I feel like I'm crazy when I have to repeat things over and over (yes I realize this is normal with kids) so much. He's been doing it for over a month now & it's gotten progressively worse. When he get's disciplined we explain that if he asked we might give him what he wants but if he sneaks it & lies about it he will get a spanking every time. (This is not the only issue he lies over, just a good and frequent example.)

My big problem is that I have a very small amount of patience for this sort of thing. I get angry, take it personally & start talking to him as if he's much older. You know, like, "why do you do this to me?" and that sort of thing.

Another problem is that this kid is extra sensitive - WAY extra sensitive. Everything seems to cut right to his heart. I know my reaction is very hard on him & I need to stop but I don't know how. We just feed off of each other. He sneaks food, I get frustrated. He lies, I get angry. I discipline, he cries. I console, he yells. He yells, I get angry. He cries & yells more, I get more angy & start making comments. It just keeps going on & on until we both need time away from each other to calm down.

I feel like such a looser of a parent when stuff like this happens. I know I have anger issues, I've had them for a long time but they've been aggrivated since we had kids. It's mostly the repeated willful disobedience that gets to me. Wouldn't it be great if they just came with a manual? I could look at the troubleshooting page, "do XYZ and the problem will stop." I'm sure my hubby could use one for me as well. But then life would be pretty boring & I wouldn't have as much to blog about :)

Anyway, I guess I'm just venting today. Gatta spew out the garbage sometime, why not make it available for the world to see?

So sorry this blog is not thought provoking, or spiritual, or funny, or well, even very interesting. I'm just a mom hanging on by a thread & trying to pull myself up.

I'd appriciate any advice you might have. Or some commiseration if you're going through something similar. But please - if you have a 'bad mommy' or 'shame on you' comment, just keep it to yourself. I'm well aware of my shortcomings, thankyouverymuch!

Have a wonderful day y'all!


Hey y'all it's time to vote for my story your favorite baby story over at My Semblance of Sanity.
Happy voting!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Some words from The Word

This does not usually happen to me.
I woke up in the middle of the night (well that happens often with 3 kids but this was different) with the strong impression that I post this scripture on my blog today.
I tried to ignore it but He's brought the thought back to me many times today so...

Psalm 13
For the director of music. A Psalm of David.
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.

Chris & I came across this in our nightly reading when we were in the midst of many many job troubles & it spoke to my heart. I truly felt like all the world was against us & our troubles would never end. I was working hard at being thankful in all things but was struggling mightily. Trying to find the joy in not having a job...again...was hard. Would we ever get out of poverty? Off of assistance? Be able to pay our bills without asking someone for help? I did not feel like it would ever end.

These verses gave me hope. David was going through the same feelings of hopelessness & despair. He trusted God, rejoiced in His salvation & sang praises to Him, even in the midst of suffering. Just what I was trying to figure out for myself.
Has it gotten better for us? Somewhat. Do I fight those same feelings? Yes. But I know that He has plans for me, plans for me to prosper, for hope and a future. I will call upon Him & seek Him with all my heart & I will find him . (paraphrase of Jeremiah 29:11-14, highly recommended reading!)

I don't know why God asked me to post this today but my prayer is that it will speak to someone that needs it. God is with you always & holds you in His hands if you open the door of your heart to Him. If you have not, please click on the red Ready? button on the upper right of my page. He loves you and wants you, please let Him in - you will never regret it!

2 details

2 things I forgot to include in my baby story

I have to send kudos to Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland, WA. Their birthing center is so awesome - beautiful rooms, wonderful labor nurses & a special care nursery with all private rooms if you need it. They take very good care of you, so much that although we lived an hour and a half away, we chose to have all our kids there.

I neglected to mention how awesome Chris was during the whole thing. He was super supportive, didn't mind me snapping at him, & followed orders when I needed him to. What a geat guy I got!!

Lastly, a more recent pix of Sam, just cos he's so dang cute :)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Baby story contest

Hi y'all, Michelle at My Semblance of Sanity is doing a fun baby story contest. Click here to find out the scoop on the rules etc. Plus you get to see a very cute video of her, very fun!

If you decide to enter have a great time writing, I had a blast remembering all those little details when I wrote mine (see post below). Now I gatta do the other one, whew!

Friday, February 22, 2008

The birth of...

It was the morning of June 7th & I was going in for my weekly OB visit. I was 38 weeks & getting pretty uncomfortable, ready for baby to show up a.n.y.t.i.m.e!! The visit was the same old same old. Heartbeat, exam, you know the drill. But then my kooky doc decides to get clever and show baby the exit. Pokes her finger up there & says "baby, here's the exit. Come on baby, be nice to your mom." OUCH!!! Ummm, baby be nice? Hellooo, how about the dang doctor!! I loved that doc but I was a leeetle annoyed with her clever procedure.

Fast forward several hours.

We were having a family dinner that night with both my sisters & their families. Margaret was going to cut my hair before dinner. Mom was making one of my favorite dishes, spinach & cheese manacotti, & I could just start to smell it.

I get up to go get something out of my room & while walking down the hall I suddenly feel...well, kinda wet. And with each step I feel more of it. Hmmm, could it be? No, it couldn't, prolly just a squished bladder thing. There it is again - OH MY GOSH I THINK MY WATER BROKE! Ewwwww, that's kinda gross, now I hafta tell somebody.

I call my doc's nurse & she tells me to meet them at the hospital.

I tell my parents. Mom's excited, Dad's a bit grossed out, no surprise there.

I head for the hospital & call Chris to tell him to meet me there but can't get him on the phone. I call, and call, and call, and call. What the heck is he doing, doesn't he know I need him? Finally I call the office to see if they can find him. He was working on something loud & could not hear the phone. They go get him & tell him to get his butt to the hospital cos, "your wife is in labor!"

Meanwhile I get my room & they give me the latest in hospital fashion to wear. I start to settle in & here comes Chris, practically skidding into the room, convinced I'm going to have the kid before he gets there . "You're in labor? Why didn't you call me sooner?" "No I'm not in labor, my water broke you dope!"

I'm reeeeally hungry at this point. I'd been thinking about that manacotti they were eating in my honor back at the house. So the next time a nurse breezed by I grabbed her, explained about the dinner & asked if I could eat something. I mean, my water broke but I'm not in labor or anything, pleeeease? The nurse has to have like, a conference with 900 other people about it and with only a half hour more of thinking about the food, they tell me I can eat a little bit. Hooray! Get my mom on the phone PRONTO, I'm gonna have me some manacotti!

A nurse checks me & takes a sample to the hour goes by, waiting for results & eating my yummy dinner (thanks mom!)...yup, amniotic fluid, my water did indeed break.

Years hours later the doc gets there & starts ordering stuff for me. She informs me I'm going to be induced since my water broke. Now, hindsight is 20/20 & I wish that I would have told her I wanted to think about it. But I tend to be intimidated by authority figures like docs etc so I just went with it.

They get me hooked up to all the stuff & give me pitocin. I reacted right away to it and discovered that, YOWZA, I don't like contractions one bit!

I think it was about 7-ish when my contractions started, & they went on in the usual way for a few hours. I take some kind of narcotic to take the edge off the pain but it really doesn't help much, just makes me feel kinda fuzzy. So at about 11 I asked for my epidural, none of that natural stuff for me, thank you very much, I'm a huge wimp & breathing was NOT working anymore. They finally got it in place around midnight & ahhh, sweet relief! I loved my epidural, life was good, I could rest & let my body do it's thing.

Except that my body started doing strange things. Once the epidural was in place my contractions pretty much stopped. They had to give me more & more pitocin to get things going again & I ended up on the highest dose. My contractions came back but were very long & weak, which was the case for the rest of my labor.

Suddenly in the middle of a contraction the nurse slaps an oxygen mask on my face & urgently makes me turn on my left side. She told us that baby's heart rate dropped & I had to to that to give baby the most oxygen possible. This became a frequent occurrence - my family looked pretty worried & got no sleep at all that night. The nurse was reassuring but looked pretty intense every time did it. I was not worried at all which is strange for me. Usually I would completely stress myself out over something like that but I just went with the flow. God knew I needed to be calm & rest as much as possible.

I really wanted to have a vaginal birth but when morning came I started to worry it wouldn't happen. I began to pray during each contraction. God please make something happen. I don't want to deal with a surgery right now, please, please let this baby come the normal way. Please God? But God had other concerns in mind.

In the morning the nurse paged the doctor to find out what she wanted to do. She took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to call back, (I think they paged her multiple times) and finally came in around 9. The nurse was very assuring during the night & nobody ever said c-section to us. But I think she knew that's how it would end up. When my Doc got there she gently told me that it looked like a section was what we would have to do. I cried just a little & asked her if she was sure. She said they would give me a little more time but she didn't think it would help.

I silently talked a bit more with God & told him that I very much did not want to do this. But if a c-section is what's necessary it would be ok. I then told my doc to go ahead with whatever was needed.

They renewed my epidural & got me prepped to go to the OR. When they were wheeling me over, I felt like I was in an episode of the show ER. Get her to the OR - stat!! Laying there with the lights passing by overhead was a very surreal feeling!

In the OR, the doc who really runs the show is the Anesthesiologist. Chris asked the nurse if my family could be with us. She told us he'd have to ask the anesthesiologist & it just depended on his/her preference. I think we were blessed with the coolest one in the hospital cos when we asked him he said it was fine & not only that, but they could video as well. That was way beyond our expectations, we were just hoping they could get in the room! So they suited up in the hallway to wait until the OR folks had me all ready to go.

Once they were in the room things happened rather quickly. I couldn't feel a thing & it was just like they told us in pre-natal classes, lots of tugging and pulling. (My dad said later that he couldn't believe how hard they pull on the baby to get it out.) The anesthesiologist gave me a running commentary of what they were doing & told me everything looked great etc. I asked to have oxygen, my epidural was too good & I couldn't feel my chest. I felt like I had an elephant sitting on me! He told me I didn't need it but since it made me feel better he gave it to me. He was such a good doc!

Mort tugging & pulling - my anesthesiologist told me they were almost through my uterus. Then came the big moment, baby was out and Chris announced...

Samuel John is here!

We found out that God was watching over this little guy big time. His placenta was only working at 25%. That's why his heart rate dropped during those contractions - they were cutting off his oxygen to some degree. Had he been born vaginally, he very likely could have had brain damage or died. God knew the perfect way for this guy to arrive, even if it was not what I wanted. Oh, He is such a good God isn't he?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

The good wife's guide

This is just nuts!

The good wife's guide (Housekeeping monthly May 1955)

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welome needed.

  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

  • Clear away the clutter. make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

  • Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.

  • Over the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

  • Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacumn. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

  • Be happy to see him.

  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of comversation are more important than yours.

  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out the dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.

  • Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

  • Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

  • Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.

  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, sooothing and pleasant voice.

  • Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always excersise his will with fainess and truthfulness. you have no right to question him.

  • A good wife always knows her place.


Ok so a lot of that is good advice & something to strive for. But not so 'Ward' has the perfect kingdom to come home to, it's for the whole family including the wife! I believe wholeheartedly in Godly submission but I don't think it means my husbands "topics of converstation are more important" than mine! Or that I "have no right to question him"! And I know of many men that were contradictory examples of the statement "he is the master of the house and...will always excersise his will with fairness and truthfulness." There is a great difference between a Godly husband & a dominating one!

Geez, soap-box anyone? Didn't mean to go off on that schpeel, I just wanted to share the article cos I though it was funny. I told the friend that sent it to me that I sometimes wish I lived in a simpler time but after reading that, yeaaaaah not so much. Of course, Chris said, "man, I'm living in the wrong era ." HA!


On another note, one that seems to be a fixation in my life lately, Adah now has a fever. OMGosh, will it ever end???

We had an appointment today that was rescheduled from last week when I was sick. Yup, had to reschedule it again - they are less than thrilled with me now, but what can ya do? I was also planning to use the drop in clinic at my Dr's office to see why I've been sick for more than 3 years 3 weeks now. I'm just a little tired of the swollen gland that's making it excruciating to swallow & making my ear feel like it's going to explode at any minute. PTL they are open on the weekend cos it looks like that's gonna be my only chance.

Have a great day y'all!

Monday, February 18, 2008

And I forgot...

To share with you that last Tuesday night I got sick AGAIN! Yes, throwing up ones toenails 2 times within 7 days does indeed SUCK! I woke up nausious & just could not believe it - totally in denial until I had to run for the bathroom & do the deed. And, I should mention that I still have a cold. I've been working on that for almost a month.
Now I'm wondering...what the heck is next & when will it ever end???

Parties, fits & visits, Oh My!

I took my 3 kids to a birthday party on Saturday - those are always a fun filled experience, aren't they? No, really it was fun, just in a insane-sugar-high-lots-of-noisy-kids way.
There were 19 people in a small-ish house, 7 adults & 12 kids, with the kids ranging in age from 9-ish to 10 mo. The kids (mostly boys) ran crazy through the house, playing with cool toy guns that make shooting noises. I was killed many times over by the oldest birthday boy, that lil stinker! I'm sure you can imagine the noise. Then add the tons of sugar from cake & ice cream - wowza!

The kids did very well, right up until the end...we were there for almost 4 hours & I paid the price. You know how it is, the kids have a blast the whole time but really they need to leave after about 2 hours. Anything past that & they just get overstimulated & crazy.
So I gave them 10, 5 & 1 minute warnings that we were leaving but oh boy, when I announced it was time to get coats on I became the worst person in the universe. Sam & Eli completely freaked out, screaming at me & the whole works. Oh yes, every parents dream, my 5yo & one of my 4yo's acting just like 2yo's. SUCH a proud moment!! Eli finally calmed down, still mad, but listening to me at least. Sam was another story entirely. I had to manhandle him all the way to the car (over a sheet of ice) & wrestle him in there. He then screamed until we got home. I was just a teensy bit angry - why do I take them to parties??? Oh yeah, cos I'm a mom & therefore insane.

My parents came for a short visit on Sunday. My Mom is having surgery on her foot Friday & wanted to see the kids before she's off her feet for weeks. It was nice, no projects to do this time, just hanging out & playing with the kids. They took us out to lunch at the 4 star greasy spoon in town. Then I made Kelly's Herbed Lentils & Rice Casserole (see below) & served it with homeade baking powder biscutis & mixed veggies - yum!

We went over our budget with Mom & Dad after the kids went to bed. We have had major financial issues since we moved in Sept. Chris is in an apprenticeship program & I don't work - trying to make ends meet with our astounding wealth meager paycheck can be mighty interesting. Anyway, I just gatta brag on my mommy & daddy cos they help us out a lot & are super smart about money issues. Yes they annoy me sometimes, they are my parents for goodness sake, but they are really great people & have gone WAY beyond the call of duty the past several months. They are totally working with us to get a budget in place so we can get beyond living paycheck to paycheck after Chris hits journey level.


Kelly's Herbed Lentils & Rice Casserole

2 2/3 Cups chicken broth

3/4 cup lentils, sorted & rinsed

3/4 cup onion, chopped

1/2 cup raw brown rice

1/4 cup water

1/2 teaspoon basil

1/2 teaspoon oregano

1/2 teaspoon thyme

1/2 cup mozzarella cheese (divided)

In a 2 1/2 quart casserole dish add the chicken broth, lentils, onions, brown rice, water, spices and 1/4 cup cheese.

Cover and bake at 350 for 2 hours, adding more broth if casserole seems dry.

Top with remaining cheese and bake another 2 or 3 minutes until all the cheese is melted.

That is the basic recipe - I do make some changes. I double the recipe. I use bullion for the broth, also works well using veggie broth if you are so inclined. I throw in extra spices (I love to use LOTS of spices). And I use more cheese cos, well cheese is just yummy!


This is something goofy that I love, a blast from the past that the kids like too :)

Have a great day y'all!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I'm so cool (how funny is that, I'm cool - HA!)

So I learned 2 new things today & I'm SO proud of myself. It's really quite sad just how proud, but I'm just kinda sad that way :)

I learned how to
link to someone.
Yup I'm getting cool now.
But it gets better, are you ready???
I learned how to do this this too. Oh, I'm just the poop now! (I don't swear usually swear so I have to use the uncool cooler version of that phrase.
Now I'm just going to drive you nuts be so cool with all my internet skills (channeling Napolean) Sweet!

Many thanks to
Rebekah and Kate who are just so cool that they shared their skills with me. Aren't you going to smack them thankful???

Ladies, YOO ROCK!!!

Yup, I'm cool now baby.

Ooo baby!

Your Rockstar Name Is...
Loca Sugarlipz

Monday, February 11, 2008

Yummy, yummy in my...oh, you know the rest.

This is the BEST soup I've ever had. The BEST!

Savory mushroom and barley soup

1 tbsp olive oil
2 cups chopped onion
1 cup chopped celery
1 ½ lbs sliced fresh mushrooms
6 cups beef broth
½ cup quick cooking barley
2 cups sliced carrots
1 6oz can tomato sauce
1 tsp salt
½ cup finely chopped parsley

Heat olive oil in a Dutch oven over medium heat
Add onion and celery and cook until tender, stirring frequently, about 8 minutes
Add mushrooms and cook 5 minutes, stirring frequently
Stir in broth
Bring mixture to a boil
Add barley, carrots and tomato paste
Reduce heat and simmer, covered, 30 minutes, stirring occasionally
Remove from heat
Stir in salt and parsley and let stand 30 minutes to thicken slightly and allow flavors to blend
Re-warm before serving

I served this with green beans & baking powder biscuits. I usually want another biscuit at the end of a meal but this time I wanted more soup. Mmmmm, mmmmm, good baby!
Did I mention this soup was the BEST?
Instead of measuring the veggies I just used 2 medium onions, 3 small stalks celery & 4 small carrots. I used dried parsley instead of fresh cos I had a big jar of it. Oh, and I used 2 lbs of mushrooms. I always add extra mushrooms cos well, mushrooms are just the bomb!

The BEST, I'm telling you...

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Silly, silly

Your Pilgrim Name Is
Humility Billington

Maybe next time

So I had a great idea for a blog Monday night - did some brainstorming & jotted down my ideas & everything. Was going to work on that like crazy on Tuesday.


I woke up in the middle of the night...and discovered that my darling children had given me their lovely bug. You know, the one that makes you throw up your toenails? Yup, that's the one!

So I spent yesterday on the couch, trying to do as little as possible. Thank goodness Sam is in school now so I only had to deal with the twins. They, of course, destroyed the house. They so know when they can take total advantage of me. Little brats, I mean, smart kids that they are. (still don't know how to do that strikethrough thing - if anyone wants to enlighten me help yourself!)

Eli got into the tape. For some reason he loves to tape straws to pencils & call them swords or fising poles. So he climed on the counter & raided the straws, then taped them to every writing empliment he could find. Then he broke the tape thingie & just stuck the tape all over the house. (Me, feebly from the couch) "Eli, put the tape away. Eli, ELI! Oh forget it!" (falls asleep)

Then one or both of them decided it would be a good idea to empty the Kleenex box all over the living room. Nice guys! Oh, Daddy was a happy guy when he got home!!

I have to send out kudos to my dear friend Leah. She saved my life & brought the twins lunch for me. Cold cereal in the morning I could (barely) handle but pb&j - not on your life! She also brought Chris dinner later, what a gal!!

I'm feeling better today. I was able to start drinking gatorade last night & eat some white bread. Had some tea & toast this morning. I might even throw some stuff in the crock-pot for dinner. That is, after I take a nap...

Monday, February 4, 2008


Ok crazy, how can picking a picture get these accurate results???

You Should Be a Social Worker
You are deeply caring and empathetic. You are able to take on other people's problems as if they were your own.Sensitive and intuitive, you understand human emotions well.Helping others gives you the most joy in life. You feel like it's your purpose in life.
You do best when you:
- Have a lot of responsibility- Greatly impact someone's life with your work
You would also be a good philanthropist or stay at home parent.

Then there's this

You Are a Blue Flower
A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance.At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower.And at other times, you are wise like an iris.And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

And this

You Are a Werewolf
You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster.Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.
Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature
Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control
You play well with: Vampires

I know this is a lame blog today. It's a lame day...more on that tomorrow...
And all of these quiz answers are mostly accurate - yikes!

Have a great night y'all!
Header image by sabrinaeras @ Flickr