Girlfriends spell relief!

Ahhhhhh.


Time with the Lord & with my prayer/Bible study group felt soooooo good today! I have not been spending time with God lately & I'm feelin' it - as evidenced by my past week & yesterday's post.

(yeah, I'm a quick one I am.)

I knew this morning that even though we got up late, I needed to get my fanny to church & meet with my group. The sermon was great, as it always is, Pastor Dan is a wonderful Pastor but I could just feel God pushing me to get with the girls, share my heart with them & pray, pray, pray. I am so thankful to have this group of women. Gals I can laugh with, cry with & spill my guts to (in total confidence they will keep all my deep dark secrets) are worth more than their weight, I can tell ya.

I came home from church with a spring in my step, thanks to God & the knowledge that my gals will be uplifting me whenever God brings me to mind.

Unfortunately, my euphoria did not last long. Chris had me sit with him while he checked the grocery sales online & I was attacked with separation anxiety over my former task. As I'm sure you understand, his brain does not work the way mine does & as a result he was not doing it the 'right' way. I almost got a knot in my poor lil tummy watching the train wreck in progress...

Ok so it really wasn't that bad, he's doing fine, but there's a learning curve to finding the best deal & a lot of the household shopping savvy resides in my head, not his. I wanted to give him a list of what is typically better priced at which store but he prefers to figure it out himself. I understand because he'll understand it better that way but I did have to go into the other room for a minute so I could mutter about all my hours of work figuring this out for nothing...no drama here, nope none at all! (Where does my daughter get that trait? Hmmm...)

Things have been better with the kids today too. I expected to loose my mind during the sermon this morning - the kids are not very good at sitting through the whole thing & there's lots of whining & whispered fighting that gets significantly slightly louder as the time progresses. But I kept my cool & wasn't even very irritated with them. We played a bit when we got home & I had snuggle time with a couple of them so that was good as well.

One of my gal-pals gave me a good idea for a after school/work routine for us - reading (um doy) which is one of my favorite pastimes. Well, more accurately reading my books is one of my favorite pastimes - whenever I start reading one of their books I begin yawning within 2 pages, weather or not I actually like the book & I want to stop immediately. But I think I have discovered some books that will work well for us - I began reading Mrs. Pigglewiggle's farm to them recently & we all love it! Books like Ramona, Pippi Longstocking, Mrs. Pigglewiggle & the like I can get into. They have a story I actually enjoy & the kids are old enough now that it captures their attention too - bonus!! I'll let you know how it goes, although I want to read an installment this evening I think I'll wait until tomorrow & start the week out right.

Happy Monday y'all!!

Sometimes I really should stop & ask for directions.

I am completely overwhelmed.

Work is going well, I'm s.l.o.w.l.y getting through the training but there's a lot of pressure (possibly imagined) to get it all done & it's freaking me out a bit. I have to talk to my boss on Monday about that - I don't know what her time expectation is for me getting through all this stuff. The other gal that's in training with me (and is much younger) is a lot faster than I am & I'm concerned that TB (the boss, a bit of a type-A perfectionist) is impatient with me. But I don't know how much of that is my 40-year-old-been-a-homemaker-for-7-years-intimidated-by-a-19-year-old-mind & how much is reality.

She's really not intimidating, it's more of the stereotype of the old lady can't keep up with the fresh young blood than anything else. I actually quite enjoy working with her, she's very nice & seems quite mature for a 19 year old girl. When she talked of graduating last year I assumed college, she looks a lot older than she is but silly me, it was only HS.

I'm feeling dated despite the fact that TB is a little older than me & the assistant manager is nearing retirement age. (Dangnabbed 19 year olds!)

None of this is what's overwhelming me though. No, that would be my family.

Every day this past week I've gotten overwhelmed by my kids within about 2 minutes of getting home. I assumed that on the weekend I would feel better but so far this is not the case. And this week was not even a normal work week, we had the holiday off!

Chris has been great, he's totally taken on the housework & cooking & the house is cleaner than it would be if I had been the one home. But I'm not sure this is helping me either.

The kitchen has been my domain for years but now I'm finding things in the wrong places & my routines are no longer in place. I kinda feel like a stranger in my own home. Now, I'm the first to admit I'm a tad anal about where the dishes go & things like that. I like things where I like them, what can I say? But when I showed him how I put the bowls away, round bowls in one stack & square bowls in another (completely logical, right?) he said "well you're not putting away the dishes anymore are you."

Ouch.

I've never been a fan of doing the dishes. I've been known, at times, to put them off & end up with a nasty stinky mess in the sink & all over the counter but that was MY job in MY kitchen & I'm not sure I want to give it up! Now Chris is doing the dishes, the menu planning, the shopping & the rest of MY job & I don't like it one bit. (There I said it, harrumph!)

Then there's the kids. Now, I love my kids but those of you who are familiar with my blog know that I've been challenged by them from time to time. (yes I know, the understatement of the year, young as it is...) Everyone assumed (and by everyone I mean Chris, my mom, my sisters & my BFF) that when I got back to work, out in the real world & interacting with adults again, things would get easier for me at home. Hell, I bought into it too but so far it's not been the case! I don't like to leave them in the morning & I'm happy to see them when I get home but I can only handle so much. I like to snuggle quietly with one or two, read books to them & watch them play but if things get loud (as they are 95% of the time) or more than one tries to talk to me at a time (another 95%) I simply can't handle it & they must get away from me NOW before I blow my stack. (and when I say blow I mean Mt St Helen's style.)

I don't want to hurt the kids or make them feel like Mom doesn't like spending time with them but my kids are loud, raucous and always fighting to be the one heard first & I start to panic. All weekend I've been shooing them away from me, trying to do it nicely but a lot of the time they won't listen & I have to raise it up a notch to get movement & they get their feelings hurt.

Then Chris hears me beginning to loose it & comes to my rescue & I feel guilty, or worse, he comes to the kids rescue & I feel resentful & arguing ensues.

Could someone please tell me who I am, how I fit into this dang family & where I can find my sanity? Pretty please??

Starting over

I am not known for my housekeeping skills. I have never been a 'cleanie' & most likely never will. There is always a load of laundry (or 2, or 3...) waiting to be folded on the couch, dishes to be done in the sink, toys, books & assorted stuff strewn all about the floor. I would rather do just about anything (blogging, duh!) but clean. We are clutter hounds, my hubby & I, we don't really like it but we seem to be powerless to keep anything picked up for long and we are passing this fabulous trait on to our children.

(I am being VERY transparent here...please be kind!)

A couple of years ago I stumbled on a website that has the potential to change the life of someone like myself. If you look over at my sidebar & down a smidge, you'll see a cute new button. That lil lady with the wings is the FlyLady & she's one of the most amazing women I know. I (sorta) followed her routines for a few months here, a few weeks there, always falling off the wagon eventually but knowing what I needed to do to jump back on.

Last year when Chris started with the bricklayers union I started to fall apart. The company he worked for was in Spokane, but at that time we lived in Kittitas, 3 hours away. Long story short, for 6 months he spent his weeks in Spokane & his weekends at home which I could not handle. I not only fell off the FlyLady wagon, I lost sight of how to get back on & the will to do so. (By the time we moved here I was very close to having a complete nervous breakdown.)

So now it's 8 months later & my house is seriously driving me nuts. I'm tired of living in a dump. I'm tired of crisis cleaning every time someone visits. I'm tired of living in CHAOS (see previously mentioned cute button.) It's time to get back on that FlyLady wagon. I'm going to dust off my old Control Journal (after I find it), shine my sink & start over again with the Beginner BabySteps.

To keep me accountable, I'm going to blog about my journey. I plan to post about what I did the previous day, how I'm feeling etc. If I miss a day I invite you to ask me why the freak I'm slacking off if something is wrong. I feel like I need someone (other than my husband, he'd just get in trouble haha!) to help me stay on track & who better than my pals out there in bloggy-land?

If you are a SHE (Sidetracked Home Executive) like me, I invite you to join along. For all the BO (Born Organized) ladies out there, you might gain a little insight on how us SHE's operate. And if you know a SHE that could use a little encouragement please share my blog with her - who knows, it just might change her life!

Love that sugar!

Chris just asked me to follow him to the kitchen for inspiration.
Wha??
(I followed him & he points to the floor.)
"See anything?"
(I have no idea what I'm looking for)
"Ummm, no?"
"You don't see anyting unusual?"
"Just the floor, desperately needing to be swept as usual."
"Look in that corner."
(I look.)
"Ewwwwwww!!"
(The corner was occupied by several busy lil ants, happily eating from a piece of golden crisp cerial that had been sitting there for who knows how long.) (Shhh, don't tell)
"Sugar ants."
"yup."
(Sigh)
"I know what I'm doing tomorrow...Urgh!"
(I hate sweeping & mopping...I'd rather clean the toilet. Yes, I know it doesn't make sense...what can I say, I'm a tad strange.)

I did kill all the ants I could find & got the, um, bait off the floor. FYI, window cleaner kills sugar ants almost instantly. I guess this guy was right after all!

Moral of the story...Chris should sweep & mop more often. Hahahaha!!
(Seriously though, he is the sweeper/mopper around here...like I said, I'd rather clean the toilet...even with 3 boys 2 boys and a husband using it.

And what did I get done?

Not much!
Yesterday my to do list lay forlornly on my desk, forgotten, while I sat at my computer, completely absorbed in the reading of blogs. Ok, so I managed to do a couple of loads of laundry & figure out what to make for dinner but otherwise zip, zilch, nada. Today I'm looking around, wanting to cuss out the lazy bum who did nothing yesterday. Oh wait, that's me...whoops! At least I'm caught up on my blog reading & can't use that as an excuse.

I really have a hard time getting off my butt. I've used various systems & read all the books but I always fall off the wagon. I did discover one method a couple of years ago that really works but that's for another post because I DON'T HAVE TIME to sit at my computer today. (you can see this is really motivating me...really, I mean it!) The fact is I'm simply lazy. So anyway, I'm going to quit telling you about this & go do something about it.
I AM, RIGHT NOW...HERE I GO!
Really.
Yeah.

The good wife's guide

This is just nuts!


The good wife's guide (Housekeeping monthly May 1955)

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welome needed.


• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.


• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.


• Clear away the clutter. make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.


• Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.


• Over the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.


• Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacumn. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.


• Be happy to see him.


• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.


• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of comversation are more important than yours.


• Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out the dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.


• Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.


• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.


• Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.


• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.


• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, sooothing and pleasant voice.


• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always excersise his will with fainess and truthfulness. you have no right to question him.


• A good wife always knows her place.

WHAT???

Ok so a lot of that is good advice & something to strive for. But not so 'Ward' has the perfect kingdom to come home to, it's for the whole family including the wife! I believe wholeheartedly in Godly submission but I don't think it means my husbands "topics of converstation are more important" than mine! Or that I "have no right to question him"! And I know of many men that were contradictory examples of the statement "he is the master of the house and...will always excersise his will with fairness and truthfulness." There is a great difference between a Godly husband & a dominating one!

Geez, soap-box anyone? Didn't mean to go off on that schpeel, I just wanted to share the article cos I though it was funny. I told the friend that sent it to me that I sometimes wish I lived in a simpler time but after reading that, yeaaaaah not so much. Of course, Chris said, "man, I'm living in the wrong era ." HA!

~~~~~~~~~~

On another note, one that seems to be a fixation in my life lately, Adah now has a fever. OMGosh, will it ever end???

We had an appointment today that was rescheduled from last week when I was sick. Yup, had to reschedule it again - they are less than thrilled with me now, but what can ya do? I was also planning to use the drop in clinic at my Dr's office to see why I've been sick for more than 3 years 3 weeks now. I'm just a little tired of the swollen gland that's making it excruciating to swallow & making my ear feel like it's going to explode at any minute. PTL they are open on the weekend cos it looks like that's gonna be my only chance.

Have a great day y'all!